From the Reproductive Years to the Menopause

by Debora Myers

We can make much clearer decisions by understanding the powerful effect of our genetic programming and hormones. Our genetic programming and subsequent hormones play an important role in our impulses when it comes to choosing a mate, and our sexuality. Must we resign ourselves to a sexless life as we enter our golden years because our hormones are changing and we are leaving our child-bearing years behind? NO! Luckily we have brains and hearts and we can use our love and our heads to overcome some of the influences of fluctuating hormones.

 “When we end up choosing our life partners from hormonal urges alone, we sometimes end up with a mismatch.”

Women are genetically programmed to choose a mate that can provide, protect and care for her and her offspring. We are the nurturers. We now know that we're genetically programmed to find the best provider and the best possible genes to fertilize our eggs, but why do many of us end up with duds? I don't mean dud sperm, I'm referring to the sperm donors.

How many times have we thought, "Oh this is it! I'm in Love, I've found Mr. Wonderful and we're going to live happily ever after..." Just to have our hopes dashed to the floor and stepped upon? As we age, we hopefully have developed and learned enough about ourselves to be able to pick a suitable mate without the hormones taking over but when faced with the excitement of a new lover you may want to keep this in mind. After years of either shutting down your libido because your earlier experiences with men were, how shall we say…unsatisfactory and disappointing, the excitement of a prospective interest can wake up what you thought was long dead. He is giving you the attention you haven’t had in years and he thinks you’re wonderful. Your libido blazes back into a burning fire!

No matter what your age, here are some things to keep in mind while searching for your soul mate, life mate, love of your life. We must balance out our heart, physical desires with our minds. Realize that those ever so powerful euphoria inducing hormones can trick you into "feeling" that you're in love. Please, give yourself some time to get to know the person that has your hormones raging! Really, you must balance out feelings with some cognitive brain activity.

Think things through before you go giving yourself away to someone that isn't right for you.
       
I'm not saying that you should wait for Mr. Perfect with the car and 10k bank account…, but do take some time to get to know him. It may help you to avoid any heartache in the future. That ever so powerful oxytocin can wipe out any cognition from your being. Oxytocin is the powerful hormone that instills in us our nurturing natures. This is nature’s way of bonding you to your mate and children.                                    

Hormones rage, creating the sexual desire that is very difficult to ignore, pushing us to find a mate. Try to keep your mind focused on the issues and goals you have for yourself and not let your body alone make your decisions for you.

Build Your Passion for Life-Create Your Own Reality!
Excerpted from FirePower by Debora Myers