Ladyfire Greatest Hits

Gift Wrapped by Mary Cherry

My husband is in the military and has been in the mid-east for the last three months. We have only been married for a year and I'm having major withdrawals. The last month has been the hardest for me. The loneliness has been close to unbearable. I have begun to wonder if I did the right thing by marring an enlisted officer. He writes me every week. His letters are all that I have to keep me going. But sometimes it's not enough. I need to be held and loved. I desperately want to make love and feel a hard warm body next to mine. I went to work as an assistant secretary in an office here on the base in order to keep my mind occupied. Wednesday night bingo at the officers club just doesn't cut it. I talk too some of the other wives looking for advice on how they cope with their men being away for long periods of time. The answers are so varied that it doesn't seem to help much. 

Some of the more seasoned wives suggest getting a boyfriend on the side. And some tell me to hang in there, that it just takes courage. Sure, I fantasize all the time, It's all I have. When those urges well up from deep inside, I have to answer them or else I might explode. One I often have is of this super cute lieutenant named John, who lives a couple doors down from us. He works in the office where I do. I see him every day, and seems to go out of his way to catch my eye and give me a sexy big smile.

 Some nights as I lie in my bed all alone, I dream about getting up from my bed, in my sheer nightgown and knocking lightly on his door to borrow some 'sugar'. He asks me in for a drink and soon we end up next to his bed. He brazenly puts his big arms around me and try's to kiss me. I'm soft as butter melting on a summer day. I can smell his lingering after-shave. I close my eyes waiting for his mouth to join mine. He puts his hand under my silky nightgown and caresses my exposed breasts and rubs them into a frenzy. His hand feels warm and he explores me with an excited abandon. His mouth is close to mine as I anticipate the intimacy of his probing tongue. For a moment I hesitate. Then I see my husbands face, Matthew is asking me; "why?" I wake up feeling ashamed and even more frustrated. Monday morning I'm busy at work and Rosy sticks her head around the corner "Have you heard the news yet? The 82nd is being relieved! They will be home by Christmas!"

We both jump up and down and hug each other. Her man is in the same unit as Matthew. Later I get a quick call from Matthew. It's true he's coming home on leave and will arrive in two weeks. I have so much to do to get ready. I hurry home from work and stop by the adult store next to the strip club to pick up a few outrageous gifts. As I'm sitting on the floor wrapping presents I have an inspirational idea. I will make this a homecoming he'll never forget. The time flies by and I can hardly contain myself. The day of the 82nd arrival is here. But I'm not there to greet him with the other wives at the airstrip. The phone rings, its Matthew. He's very upset. "Where are you? Didn't you miss me enough to show up at the gate? I thought you would pick me up and bring me home." I slyly answer, "I'm kinda busy now. Can you catch a ride on the transport van?" 

My plan is working and everything's in order. In fifteen minutes he'll be walking in the front door and he will be in for the surprise of his life. I can't wait to see the surprised look on his face when he opens the door and sees me waiting under the Christmas tree. I finish my preparations and take my position. I'm dressed in a Santa's helper hat and red nylons with a big red silk bow over each nipple, that's all. I take my position on some pillows under the Christmas tree and turn on the twinkle lights. I bought a novelty CD at the adult store. It has funny R-rated Christmas songs on it. I thought it would be cute. So I turn on the stereo and 'I saw mommy spanking Santa Clause' starts playing in the background. I spread my red stocking legs to expose myself in all my open unabashed glory. As I'm waiting there for him to get home and unwrap his gift, I start to play with myself.

I want to be hot and ready for him. I pull out the Christmas gift I gave to myself. It's 9 inches and solid red. Martha Stewart always reminds us to have plenty of batteries on hand for Christmas day. So I load a couple in and turn it on. I slowly start the buzz. I want to hump it completely, but ease off instead preferring to wait for the long delayed real thing. I rub my Christmas toy all around the outside of my neatly trimmed package. I'm about to gush. What the hell is taking him so long? I close my eyes and continue my feverous diddle as 'Jingle balls' comes on the stereo. I start to sing out loud and push my friend a little further. Just then the door opens wide "honey I'm home. John gave me a ride. what the…" I look up and there is John and Matthew standing there with their jaws dropped open and their eyes bulging out of their heads. I just grin and speak up proudly "welcome home boys! Merry Christmas!"