CONSCIOUS

The time is ripe. Prepare to read this brave, true story about how HIV can be transferred female to female and why everyone should get tested.

GETTING UNSTUCK is an expressive autobiography that is presented in the form of a conversation between Conscious and her therapist Allan after he strategically stirs up repressed memories of sexual abuse in her past.

Conscious, former music manager of The Queen Latifah Show and talk show host for the Oxygen Media Network delivers a powerful, cathartic story, full of secrets. Like Sister Souljah's novel, The Coldest Winter Ever, it is an account of life in a segment of the Black community that relies on the underground economy's illegal money to support itself. But, GETTING UNSTUCK is not fiction. It's in-your-face reality.

GETTING UNSTUCK is a revealing depiction of Conscious' foray into self-examination and awareness. It is a story for every woman and man who has experienced psychological, sexual and chemical abuse, as children and adults.

GETTING UNSTUCK is a story of gender difference and identity. It is also a story about the impact of AIDS/HIV on the lives of all people in general, but gay women in particular.

If you have ever wondered about your child's sexuality, or are concerned about the sexuality of someone you care for, then you must read GETTING UNSTUCK. It may help save the life of someone you love.

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Conscious: Turbulent! I think we are so much alike we are at the opposite end of the spectrum. As a child I feared my mother. She provided, gave me things, material things, but not her love. That is what I really needed, her love and protection. We don't deal much now. I'm clean and sober, so I can't be a part of her element. I have made a conscious choice to stay clean and sober. She has not, that means we can't deal with each other. I love my mother, but I can't live in her world.

MC: Do you have brothers and sisters? What is your relationship like with them?

Conscious: I have a sister and two brothers. My eldest brother and I don't speak much. My sister lives upstairs and my little brother lives down south. We are cool. My sister is great. She's okay about the book, she is not terribly excited. I broke the family rule; you know, what is done in the house stays in the house. You don't go telling people what goes on in the house. I'm telling these sick secrets, so I can help end the madness.

MC: How or Why did you get out of using and selling drugs?

Conscious: I hit rock bottom. Then, God sent me a message. God told me to leave the place I was in. God told me he had a great work for me to do. I got help from my sister and went into a treatment program and into therapy.

MC: Let's talk about therapy. Why did you accept therapy? How do you think therapy is viewed in the African-American community?

Conscious: I wanted to get better. It was the only way I could regain my repressed childhood memories. It was the only way I could heal. I learned that our secrets keep us stuck in our mental garbage. To answer your question about the African-American community and therapy. First, I want you to know that a white interviewer from another publication asked me the same question. Therapy in the African-American community is Taboo! That is why we aren't getting the help me need, our sick family secrets keep us in trauma, drama and stress. It's why we have murderers and serial killers in our society at large. Our rule in black families; don't tell your business and that code keeps our folks stuck. You have to realize that I had a breakthrough after seven months of therapy. I thought about how much better in life I could have been, if I had of received the help I needed early in my life. It probably would have saved me from contracting HIV.

MC: Conscious, what are your plans for the future?

Conscious: To let God use me and get the word out about HIV and child sexual abuse. It is my hope to build a foundation for women with HIV who have been infected by other women. This is just not an area that the medical community or the Lesbian community is dealing with effectively. Just the other day, a woman told me that she did not know you could get HIV woman to woman. She was dead serious and that is frightening.

MC: Is there anything you would like to express that we might have not covered during this interview?

Conscious: Let me be the sacrifice. Know that woman to woman HIV transmission is a reality. Read about my life, protect yours!!!

MC: Thank you Conscious, for inviting us into your home and sharing your life by writing Getting Unstuck!

Interview of Conscious by Sable Magazine