INFIDELITIES

by Mona Moans

I felt really uncertain about going to visit my sister. I was of course excited about visiting and spending some time with her. But my uncertainty was coming from a feeling that I had been having lately about my husband. Call it a hunch or maybe women's intuition but something, that I could not put my finger on, did not feel right. Neither my husband nor I are the overly jealous types. We both intermingle at parties and occasionally flirt. But when we married we based our lives together on trust. I have always held that trust as a sacred given, and I believed that my husband did as well. The feeling had surfaced a couple of months ago. I had stopped by his office to drop off a pair of keys. I found him sitting really close to a cute co-worker as they chatted away. It was a few minutes before he saw me, so I just stood there and watched them. 

There was a spark of something between them as they laughed, almost like what we had at one time. He later explained it away as just a friend from work. And although the situation was innocent enough and I was not overly alarmed at the time, it was his behavior in the weeks that followed that raised suspicions. I began to notice out of the clear blue that he would make personal comments about her that seemed odd. I would never say anything; I had nothing to go on. And it could have indeed been innocent. Besides I was in the trust mode. His workload then began to get heavier. More hours, more projects and then after work meetings, that he never had before. He assured me that he was just working as hard as he could to climb the corporate ladder. I remember after one "meeting" I went to bed about 11:00 and soon after he arrived home about thirty minutes later. He undressed and quietly slipped into bed. I reached over to touch him and have our usual goodnight kiss, but he froze stiff and would not respond to my touch. He even smelled different. I sensed that something wasn't right. Yet I still wanted to believe that I could trust him.

He seemed almost thrilled that I was going to visit my sister. I had reservations to fly out to see her and stay for 11 days and then fly home. The first night he called me, and I felt more secure. We didn't talk again for 4 days. I was busy catching up and talking with my sister. Then I had a strange dream. My husband was naked and making love to me. Because I missed him so much I was enjoying the dream. It felt good to be close to him even though I new I was just dreaming. Then I began to get anxious and the dream became confusing and stressful. I could see my husband making love, his muscles firm, damp with sweat, intent on his purpose and thoroughly enjoying himself. But he was making love to another woman, not me. I awoke having a panic attack. I sat up in bed fully aware that it had only been a nightmare. But I could not go back to sleep. So I called him. It was late but there was no answer. Maybe he's asleep and not answering the phone. So I let it ring for twenty minutes. Now I really could not sleep. I tried calling off and on all night. 

It was now early Saturday morning and still no answer. Finally at 10:00 he answered and said he was walking the dog. Then I told him that I had called at six and at seven and there was no answer. He said he was asleep. But I knew that something was up. Later that afternoon I called the airlines and changed my flight. I moved my schedule three days ahead. I made an excuse to my sister, so as not to upset her. I was torn between being with her and finding out the truth. Inside I was all mixed-up, but I managed to keep on a smiley face for her.

I flew in on the late afternoon flight at around 10: 30 that night and I arrived at the airport. Usually he always picked me up at the airport, except this time he had no idea that I was coming home. I took a cab home and cried all the way. I prayed that I would be wrong about all of this and he would be asleep all alone and be glad to see me. I made the cab stop a few doors down from our house. His car was in the drive. I walked silently up to the house in the dark. There were only a few lights on in the back of the house. I decided to walk around to the backyard. The lights were on in the den-sunroom we have on the back of the house. I still desperately wanted to find him on the couch reading. But as I walked around the garage I glanced in the window. In the window of the dark garage I could make out the outline of two cars parked inside. That made three cars. 

Someone else's car was in the garage. I quietly unlatched the backyard fence, and petted my dog. She was wagging her tail excited to see me but she never barked. As I followed the stepping-stones around the corner totally in the dark I could see the lighted den. As I got closer I froze in my tracts. I saw them on the couch. It was true. It was the woman from work. They were both naked and she was on top of him. He had his head thrown back and she was rocking up and down on top of him. I could not move. I stood there in the dark watching emotionless, panicked. I wanted to run away, turn my head anything but stare at them. I wanted to run around to the front bust in the front door and catch them red handed in the act. I felt nauseated and powerless. Yet I remained frozen. 

I knew that no one could see me in the dark. Watching her have her orgasm's as her breasts swung freely and her hair tossed from side to side, and his hands firmly on her bottom pushing her fervently down on to his lap, suddenly began to excite me. I felt a wave of erotic feelings flush over me. My knees were weak and I broke out in a cold sweat. My eyes were open wide, taking it all in. I felt my hand almost as if other forces were controlling it, rubbing on my mound through my skirt. I began to masturbate through my clothes. I moved closer to the window and further behind the bushes. They only slowed down long enough for him to get on top of her. He was now pumping her hard, machine like. I could relate to how she felt having him deep inside her and it began to push me over the edge. I now had both hands cupped together over myself rubbing as fast as I could go. 

I bit my lip to keep from crying out or making any noises. I began to cum over and over inside my now soaked panties. They were done, and both lay on the couch without moving. I slumped down to the cool damp grass and sat there in my dark backyard and started to cry. I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth, trying to comfort the hurt, rage, and loneliness I felt inside. I felt ashamed and disgusted by my actions yet somehow strangely satisfied.

That was three months ago. Of course I summoned the courage to walk in on them that night. I ordered them both out of my house. They jumped in her car and fled the scene. We divorced, and I haven't seen him much, which is fine by me. Sometimes I wonder how I would have reacted if it had been me cheating, and he was in the yard watching me with another man. What would he have done? I'm dating a really handsome and attractive guy now. But recently I've fantasized about watching him do someone else and I get so turned on I give it to him big time. Maybe I'll never trust men again, but then again I don't really care anymore. 

At least once a week I drag my new lover out into the den to make love to me on that very same couch. I always leave the lights on in case anyone is in the yard is watching!