Pregnancy & Sexuality

     You're a Hot Momma!

The ultimate dance of desire has resulted in a pregnancy. You are expecting a baby. Just how is your sex life going to be now that you have a bun in the oven? That answer depends mostly upon you and your mate of course. The answer to this question is as varied as we have become as human beings. Traditionally the Hopi People of Arizona believe that continued sex after pregnancy was healthy for the mother and the baby. Sexual intercourse can also bring on labor; his semen contains Prostaglandin's that can help to ripen the cervix. If you have a history of miscarriage, it is best to discuss with your doctor what will be best for you and your baby.

We interviewed several couples and this is what they had to say about pregnancy and sexuality. Following these quotes ladyfire's Aphrodite offers us a few techniques for good sex during pregnancy.

"I never felt so beautiful in my entire life. My usually angular, boyish figure transformed. I was in full bloom and proud of my round belly/baby. I loved the fact that my breasts were full and swollen. My vulva was swollen and I was always ready for lovemaking. The increased blood-flow to my reproductive organs always made me feel warm and ready. All he had to do was look at me. We learned to get very creative as I expanded. Used lots of pillows for propping!" Diane, AZ.

"I got pregnant with my second baby just a few months after the delivery of my first. I was not a happy camper. My husband and I almost broke up, but thank goodness we found help with a psychologist. She counseled us through and helped us to arrange for some help. We didn't have sex for six months; I just didn't have the energy and was somewhat angry with him for knocking me up again so soon I guess. But after the baby was born I had my tubes tied. We no longer worried about another pregnancy. We had two kids and were fine with that. I never would have let him touch me without having my tubes done. Thank God for modern medicine. Two kids in a year and a half is enough to last me a lifetime!"

Coreena, SC

"I was so afraid that he wouldn't be interested in me when I got pregnant. Thought maybe he'd think I was played out. Let me tell you, he was so lovin' the fact that I was carrying his baby that he treated me like Cleopatra. Mark said I was his fertile queen and he would do everything for me. He suggested that I quit my job and focus my energy on our baby. At first I didn't want to but when the morning sickness came, I quit work and stayed at home. Mark had this little ritual of rubbing my feet when he got home from work. Most sisters couldn't believe how good he was to me. I just got lucky I guess. The sex was great. I felt like I was always ready to give him a lift. We found all kinds of ways to do it. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones." Tonetta, PA

Dear Aphrodite, I started out enjoying my pregnancy. My skin was clear, my hair got thick and I felt warm and healthy all the time. I didn't even have morning sickness, but my boyfriend treated me like a fragile invalid. It started when we were making love at the end of my first trimester. He bumped into my cervix and I yelled, ruining our sex life for the entire pregnancy. I tried unsuccessfully to convince him that I was fine and actually needed to have sex but he just shut down. I feel so rejected and depressed. What can I do? Marina, NM

Sexy Advice for Expectant Mothers By Aphrodite

If he is intimidated by your state or unsure of lovemaking with you while you are expecting:

Communication is the key! Verbalize your desires, fears… and encourage him to do the same.

Be positive; assure him that you are fully responsive and that you need his affection and love and physical expression of that love.

Do not belittle, whine, or get bitchy if you are not getting enough.

Communicate your needs to him as clearly as possible without making him feel inferior.

Don't push him. Be gently suggestive, starting with non- sexual, gentle touching.

Give your man plenty of space. If he misses you he may come closer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Buy a vibrator or dildo and take measures into your own hands. Be patient!

Concentrate your energies on the baby and yourself. Resigning to no sex for a few months won't hurt you. Channel your energy elsewhere or masturbate.

If you are the one that is disinterested in sex then maybe these tips will help you to become more responsive:

Communication is the key! Verbalize your desires, fears… and encourage him to do the same.

Shower before he does and get into bed first. Then tickle and tantalize yourself through masturbation and fantasy. Whatever gets you going in that direction.

Even if you don't feel like making love at the time suggest that he make a little more effort at coaxing and foreplay.

Read a romance novel.

Keep your sense of humor; avoid the awkwardness by laughing! Don't worry if you cannot get into it or feel pressured by his needs.

Remember that mutual masturbation can be exciting and may help to relieve the sexual pressure.

Don't forget the power of lubrication! If it is difficult for you to get wet a little lube can go a long way!

The Best Sexual Positions for the Expectant Mother

Do it in the shower! The hot water can be relaxing. Make sure you have a strong hand- rail or handle to hold onto. Also add a non-slip mat or decals for better traction and to ensure that you won't slip and fall!

Ok, you're in bed waiting for him. As things progress, get on your hands and knees and don't forget the pillows of support. Get comfortably situated and while maneuvering the pillows etc. distract him with a full shot of your waiting vulva in a mirror. While he is enjoying the view and stroking himself, you can get comfy. Make sure you have a free hand for clitoral stimulation. When he enters you, use your fingers; squeeze your outer labia together while masturbating. This not only will stimulate your clit; it will wrap your lips tighter around his penis, giving him a tighter, longer vagina to thrust into. It will push his penis against your clitoris giving you more stimuli. This position can only be kept up for a short duration. Once you cannot support your weight, slide to your side so that you can climax. Once you have sufficiently climaxed move to the hands and knees position again. He most likely will enjoy this position. Using your fingers once more tighten your lips around him and get into his rhythm. By lengthening your vagina with your labia and fingers you also avoid the cervical pounding that sometimes can be painful while he goes for the gusto.

Remember those Kegal exercises. If you become tired focus on tightening your pelvic floor!

Most men tire of being the initiators. Take the lead and climb on top. There you are queen of the universe! In this position you have the control and ability to move to your liking! This position is good for women with a tender cervix. You have control and most likely he won't pummel your cervix unless he is of mammoth proportions! Be open to experimentation. Try different angles and rhythms and most of all don't forget your sense of humor! Lighten up!

If you have trouble reaching orgasm through intercourse you can bring yourself to climax through masturbation. Ask him to help! He can kiss your neck and breasts…while you take matters into your own hands!